Making the Newspaper

How many of us have made it on to a newspaper? How many have dreamed of making it on to a paper? I made it on to our school's paper, and I always did dream of making it to some sort of media (television, internet, radio, and paper). I am the first to admit that I like the positive light being shined on me. I am not an attention seeker, but when it finds me I hope its in a positive way. Anyhow, my presence on campus has already stirred discussion amongst student, staff, and faculty leadership. I think that's some pretty darn good attention. I was interviewed because I was quoted as saying that I will "change" the campus. This was the first time when I realized . . . I need to watch what I say and how I say it. My primary job as a social justice advocate is to transform lives and create paradigm shifts, which will eventually lead to what we all want: positive change and peace among our lives.

However, in our work we are constantly surrounding ourselves with conversations, situations, and spaces filled with triggering moments (both good and bad). Being interviewed for the student paper was triggering both good and bad, because I understand media and I know how it works. I was afraid my words would get twisted or that something would be taken the wrong way and out of context. Once something is published it is out of our control, what matters now is how you handle it afterwards. While I am proud of my article and proud of the student who interviewed me, I was oblivious as to what section of the paper my article would appear under. All I kept thinking of: what is my article going to say . . . and of course the picture! The picture came out alright, aside from what I feel looks like a fake smile, haha. You could tell I was tired. My article was the first one in the entertainment section.

(I'll let you take that in for a moment). Yes, I stood there in wonderment . . . Why is my face, my last name, right under "Entertainment". Never did I think I would make a newspaper under the entertainment section. First of all, I am the shyest person I know, and I can't think of a talent that I hold that is worth of such entitlement. My social justice lens was out the roof! I decided to start reading my article to check if I was misquoted and to check is conservative terms regarding my 'changing the landscape' perspective were used. You see, in Texas and in politics in general, we have to be cautious as to (like I said before) use and say certain words, also known as padding. Anyhow, What would you think if you face and last name was under a big bold "ENTERTAINMENT" section? Keep in mind, you do not have a talent and you don't seek for attention or are shy . . .

My mind literally (and I hate to say this, but it's true) went to the idea of an animal. As people of color we been associated with a variety of characteristics, and whether we, or you, do not think so, its true. From monkeys to donkeys, from lazy to athletic, from loud to obnoxious. I felt like an animal being showcased. I know it sounds terrible, but that is how I felt. Had my article been in a different place, I would have felt different . . .

But you know what, I am a positivist and hate to dwell on too much negativity. I chose to look beyond it and chose to leave that battle behind, because at the end of the day not everyone gets their name or face in the newspaper. I got my spotlight, it was good, and I can live with it. I have to choose the battles I want to fight when it comes to social justice and diversity work. It is something I have tried to instill in my students and those around us. We cannot dwell in the negative energy we develop from 'microaggressions'. The best way to work our way out of that negative energy is to process with those around us and understand our privileges in doing so. For now, I'm going to take my article and be proud of the fact that I have come a long way and can only go up from where I am at.

A Place Called East Texas

Today I had the privilege of driving to Tyler, TX with a dear friend of mine. We started our trek in Nacogdoches after deciding that Tyler would be the best place to spend the day at. On our way up to Tyler, our GPS navigation system took us through some interesting roads (not that there was any other choice). I realized as I was driving that the roads looked so much like Burlington and New England in general. East Texas is also known as the Piney Woods of Texas. It's beautiful! I never knew Texas could have such beautiful scenery filled with trees arching over the long curvy roads. As always, I joked about how certain movies were filmed in the area, such as "Step Mom". On top of the scenery the weather was beautiful. I just wished the leaves were turning red, yellow, or orange instead of brown. Needless to say, it was still a beautiful ride up.
After touring what Tyler had to offer, included stopping at their much larger mall, it was time to head back to Nac. This time, our GPS took us down a different road. This included many more curves and ups and downs, as well as a accident-causing items such as torn tires and even a fox trying to cross the road. We were driving south east so the sun was definitely in our favor. We were jammin' to country songs, and the day could not have been any better. However, a few thoughts crossed my mind, and not happy ones.
I wondered, where would we be if Texas would have stayed a part of Mexico. I wondered where the Choctaws, the Cherokee, the native people would be at if the Spanish or the French would not have seized the South, or even the English in the North. I wondered, where would the REAL beauty of East Texas be with out the colonization of its people, land, and wildlife. I joked how this is the beauty of nature that allowed for its people to survive and thrive before 'man kind' tore it apart.
I believe social justice is not all about progressing and moving forward, but about honoring and cherishing the past. It is about remembering and never forgetting. My friend pointed out how there are a few cities in East Texas who are proudly named after confederate soldiers, white oppression, and appropriation of one's culture. Cherokee, Texas. Rusk, Texas. White House, Texas. Douglas, Texas. Just to name a few. I think that is why part of me does not mind living in small towns. I am able to freely explore nature with out the interruption of refineries or large buildings. I am able to breathe in the smell of authenticity. I am able to imagine what life would be carefree, with out technology, and seeing with my eyes closed, listening with the wind whispering in my ear, being one with what I supposed to be. With who we were meant to be. With who we still can be. All while doing and working for social justice. East Texas and racism is like that itch you try to scratch but won't go away because you can't really pin point where its coming from. It is right in your face, but it is up to you to start the scratching, but you don't know where to begin.
So, since being here, I have tried to challenge myself in finding the source of that scratch so that I have a direction in where to begin my journey. I challenge you, where does your scratch begin? and how deep are you willing to go? East Texas is my place, but there is still another place in Texas called Deep East Texas. I have yet to tackle that area.